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Realizations on ‘VARRIOR’ theme

Back to basics, Yoga, Yoga video, ,

 

Warrior 2For the video about WARRIOR 2 visit my YOUTUBE channel.

Realisations on ‘VARRIOR’ theme

 

Realisation 1:

I realised we all want to be happy. Avoid hardship, failure, pain. And if we fail – because we have pain, hardship – we feel disappointed. I was there. With the never ending disappointment within – I did everything I could and I am still not happy. For moments – yes:

  • when – after days/weeks of cloudy skies – the sun is out, warming my skin – yes.
  • when I cocoon into a freshly washed bedding – yes.
  • waking up for the smell of freshly made coffee on a lazy morning – yes.
  • watching the peace of a sleeping animal – yes.

But not fully, totally, constantly.

Realisation 2:

NOONE ever promised us constant happiness. Life is not about constant happiness. Life is about learning lessons, to experience things – failure, pain, disappointment… and happiness.

Realisation 3:

Yes, we are all warriors. We all have our own battles. But I choose my own point of view – keeping the eyes on the wounds only, or looking up in the sky. This is our choice. I decided to be a peaceful, smiley warrior. I decided to accept myself as I am, stopped fighting against my thoughts, habits, behaviours – were not approved by others.

Realisation 4:

In the moment I accepted my own battles, accepted that I am a warrior – the battle disappeared, the armour fell down. No warrior any more. No battle exists. Only me with constant happiness. With the feeling you have when you are in love. But I feel this love towards life. Towards beauty and hardship, pain and joy, failure and cracks on the sky where he light gets in.

I do not want to be happy any more. I am happy. With all the aspects of my human existence.

 

(A magyar valtozat ekezetek nelkul olvashato.)

 

Felismeresek ‘harcos’ temara

 

Felismeres 1:

Azt vettem eszre, mi mind boldogok akarunk lenni. Elekerulni a nehezsegeket, bukasokat, fajdalmakat. Es amikor elbukunk – mert a fajdalom, a nehezsegek meg mindig ott vannak – csalodottak vagyunk. Jartam itt. Ismerem a kornyeket. Minden tolem telhetot megtettem, es megsem voltam boldog. Neha, pillanatokra – igen.

  • amikor napok, hetek szurke ege utan vegre erzem a nap meleget a boromon – igen.
  • amikor bevackolok a frissen mosott agynemube – igen.
  • amikor egy lusta reggelen a frissen fozott kave illata ebreszt – igen.
  • amikor egy alvo allat bekes szuszogasat figyelem – igen.

De nem allandoan, teljesen, totalisan.

 

Felismeres 2:

Soha SENKI nem igert nekunk allando boldogsagot. Az elet nem az allando boldogsagrol szol. A Fold egy tanulobolygo, az elet leckek lancolata, mik soran megtapasztalunk bukast, fajdalmat, csalodast… es boldogsagot.

 

Felismeres 3:

Igen, mi mind harcosok vagyunk. Mi mind vivjuk sajat kis csatainkat. De EN vagyok az, aki a sajat nezopontomat megvalasztja – a sebeim bamulom megbabonazva, vagy felemelem tekintetem az egre, ahol a felhok eppen resnyire nyilnak egy napcsova elott. EZ kizarolag az EN dontesem. Egy nap ugy dontottem dontottem, bekes, mosolygo harcos akarok lenni. Elhataroztam, hogy elfogadom magam ugy, ahogy vagyok. Hogy nem harcolok a sajat gondolataim, szokasaim, viselkedesi normaim ellen, meg ha hianyzik is roluk masok aldasa.

 

Felismeres 4:

Abban a pillanatban, amikor beket kotottem sajat kis belso csataimmal, elfogadtam, hogy igen, harcos vagyok… a csatamezo eltunt, lehullott a pancel. Eltunt a harcos. Eltunt a csata. Ami maradt: en es a folytonos boldogsag. Az erzes, amit akkor erzel, mikor szerelmes vagy. De ezt a szerelemet az elet irant ereztem. A szepseg es a nehezsegek, a fajdalmak es a varazslat, a bukasok es minden repedesek irant az egen, miken a nap biztato sugarai attornek.

Mar nem akarok boldog lenni. Az vagyok. Emberi letezesem minden morzsajaban.

 

 

 

 

 

“Let the sunshine in”

Special occasion, Yoga, Yoga video

 

For the video about OPENING UP THE WHOLE BEING visit my YOUTUBE channel.

“Let the sunshine in”

The whole world is burning in VIRUS-fever. It creates all different situations. We can find ourselves having reactions makes us puzzled. Even we can find ourselves experiencing parallel universes between the kitchen and the dining area. This last happened with me this morning.

I went to the kitchen where one of my fellow volunteer was cooking heart opening hot chocolate from pure cacao to share it with others in the morning yoga class. He was singing, dancing around in the heavenly fragrance of chocolate while cooking. It was a real present from life to be in the kitchen in his presence.

Couple of meters away another person appeared – still in his pijamas – with his mobile phone in his hand, listening the ‘virus news’ on his device. His face was tensed, clouds on his forehead, eyes closed for the beauty of the rising sun, the melting mist around the neck of the hills. I felt his tension when I passed by.

From this heavy energy I escaped back to the kitchen to sing and dance instead – ‘Let the sunshine in’. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhNrqc6yvTU)

No, we can’t change the world around us. But we can choose how we react. What is your choice?

……………………………………………………………………………………….

(A magyar valtozat meg mindig csupan ekezetek nelkul olvashato.)

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Jojj el napfeny”

Az egesz vilag VIRUS-lazban eg. Erdekes helyzeteket teremtve. Talan olykor sajat reakcionk okozza a legnagyobb fejtorest. De lehet, hogy parhuzamos univerzumok nyilnak a konyha es az ebedlo kozti terben. Nos, ma reggel en ez utobbit tapasztalhattam meg.

A hajnali konyhaban egy masik onkentes kavargatta a forro csokit, amit szintiszta kakaobol keszitett szivcsakrat nyitni, a reggeli jogara erkezoknek meglepetesul. Onfeledten tancolt es enekelt a barna illatban. A reggel ajandeka volt belepni az amugy ejszakatol dermedt helyisegbe e korai oran.

Par meterrel odebb egy masik szemely tunt fel – meg pizsamaban – a telefonjat babralva, kutatva a reggel legfrissebb ‘virus – hireit’. Arca feszult, homloka felhos, szemei vakok a kelo nap festette szinpompara, a hegyekrol lassan leolvado kodkontosere. Elhaladva mellette nem lehetett nem ereznem a feszultseget.

Sietve menekultem vissza a konyhaba tancolni es enekelni – ‘Let the sunshine in’. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhNrqc6yvTU)

Mert a vilagot nem tudjuk megvaltoztatni. De hogy hogy reagalunk, azt egyedul mi dontjuk el. Te hogy dontesz?

 

… just like a mountain

Back to basics, Yoga, Yoga video, , , , ,

 

For the video about TADASANA visit my YOUTUBE channel.

 

EXTRA mountain meditation by me: https://soundcloud.com/user-328915739/mm071117

…just like a mountain

I’m sitting in the middle of the jungle. My laptop is on my lap. No, I do not feel I do something blasphemic. I’m in peace with the fact I can do differently. I am balanced.

Blissful state.

…

Mountains standing around me.  They are just standing unwaveringly. I look up to them. I admire them. I know they have their own secrets, own view, knowledge of life. No tension around. I feel like a little girl sitting next to the ankle of her grandparent listening his/her words. Sometimes only couple of dried words falling front of me. Other times the words like rivers running out of the mouth.

Their ‘face’ looks different every day. On rainy days I can not even see the top of them. The comfort of the cloud-made pillows just slowly melting away. Other days one of its side is hiding in shadows letting the other side to shine. There is no competition. No winner or loser. Sunbeam or cloud fluff drawing the erratic silhouette.

…

I WANT to upload my video onto YOUTUBE.  I’m squatting at the feet of the hills, more and more frustrated because of the electricity shortage of the last three days. No internet of course. After three days I give up. Gazing the hills with no life in my eyes. And I slowly realise: my WILL is nothing here. It will always bounce back even I exhaust myself to death. Here the NO means NO. I have only one chance: to bow my head, to accept, and let myself to melt into the rhythm of the HERE, the rhythm of THEIRS. My only chance to be like the mountains: to exist as I am and whatever happens around me just respect it, welcome it, and let it go. As mountains need clouds, water, sunshine we need all the experiences in our life. It makes as the person who we are now.  I have only one thing to do: being open, and to trust that all will happen in its own time.

There is no secret.  But inner-peace is here. Balance. I am grounded, routed, strong.

 

(A magyar valtozat meg mindig csupan ekezetek nelkul olvashato.)

 

…mint a hegyek

Ulok a dzsungel kozepen, olemben a laptop. Nem, nem erzem szentsegtoresnek. Bekeben vagyok a tennyel, hogy csinalhatnam mashogy is. De jol van igy. Egyensuly van.

Aldott allapot.

…

Korottem hegyek. Allnak renduletlenul. Felnezek rajuk. Tisztelem oket. Erzem a titkuk, a bolcsesseguk. Nem erzek feszulest. Nyugalom van, beke. Mintha egyik nagyszulom bokaja melle kuporodnek. Hallgatom a megelt elet erlelte szavakat. Neha csak par tomor mondat. Maskor folynak a szavak az elmerengo tekintet atrajzolta arc szajabol.

Minden nap masok. Esos napokon nem is latni a csucsukat. Felhokbe csavarodnak. Van, hogy az egyik oldalt arnyek rejti. Nincs lazongas. Nap vagy kod rajzolja a hullamzo sziluetteket.

…

Fel akarom tolteni a videom a YOUtube-re. Ulok a helgyek toveben, egyre frusztraltabban, hogy napok ota nincs aram, nincs internet. Harmadnap feladom. Uveges szemekkel nezem fennseges lenyuket, es lassan rajovok, az en kis akarasom itt visszapattan. Itt a nincs az nincs. Itt egy eselyem van: ha fejet hajtok, ha elfogadok, ha beleengedem magam az elet ritmusaba, az ITTENI ritmusaba, az O ritmusukba. Ha olyan leszek, mint ok, a hegyek: letezem a magam valojaban, es barmi tortenik korottem, csak ugy tekintem mind, mint mulo felhot, mint taplalo vizet, mint eletet ado napfenyt. Mindre szukseg van egy kiegyensulyozott elethez. Mind egyutt erlelt azza a szemellye, aki most vagyok. Nekem egy dolgom van csupan: befogadni, es bizni, hogy minden a maga idejeben erkezik.

Nincs titok. Belso beke van. Egyensuly.

 

 

Open the heart for gratefulness

Travel, Yoga, Yoga video, , , ,

 

For a 12 minutes upper back mobilizing/heart opening practice check in to my YOUTUBE channel. Enjoy!

 

Gratefulness

Recently I noticed that at the end of my practice when I scan through my body I am not only relaxing the certain body parts but I started to have conversation with them. I started to say thank you for them being as they are. I started to see them as they are and being grateful for what I have and to learn how cruel I was with myself for years and years. Basically I was my worst enemy: I criticised, I compared myself. I always felt I have to do more and more to deserve anyone’s attention, love. This self-unacceptance was so natural for me and so deeply engraved within, I did not even realize what I was doing. I had to look into some mirrors to see it.

…

I am lying on the floor. I am in savasana. Corps pose. A reminder of the fact where we are all heading. I surrender. I listen my breath. Scanning through my body. My alive body.

…

Instead of wanting to hide it, to change the colour of it, I am grateful to have a thick, long, healthy hair which reminds me to my dad.

Instead of wanting to change the size of it, I say thank you for my nose it works properly and I have something with me all the time reminds me to my mom whenever I look into a mirror.

Instead of wanting to change or erase them, I am grateful for all of the wrinkles, lines, asymmetry on my face. They are the storytellers of all the sweet and hurtful moments of my 44 years.

I say thank you for the discomfort in my throat teaching me to say ‘yes’ when I mean ‘yes’ and ‘no’ when I mean ‘no’.

I am grateful for the pain in my shoulders reminding me whenever I start to carry far too much weight, responsibilities again.

I say thank you for the stiffness in my upper back making clear the smile on my face is not always real yet.

For my lover back pain for offering me the direction and the speed of a more aware life.
For the knee pain making it clear the direction of my life is not always the right one.

…

I am lying on the floor. Giving space to the moment as it is. To myself in the moment as I am.

…

I am in savasana. THE END pose. Every end has the seed of a new beginning. I surrender to the new the next moment will bring to me, to the lesson, that “perhaps there is no mistake […]. Perhaps the story the mind has constructed about life is just that, a story, and you are here, whole, prior to all stories. […] Just become more and more real, more and more human, more and more conscious, less and less perfect. More self-aware and willing to feel. […] And to feel more. And more. […] To sometimes not know what the next step is. […] Discovering who we really are. With each day we begin meeting with ourselves more deeply. […] Treat ourselves like the […] most fascinating and beloved creatures.” (Jeff Foster – The joy of true mediation, New Sarum Press, 2019)

…

Savasana. There is nothing within me but gratefulness, peace and space for growing into the next moment.

 

(A magyar valtozat meg mindig csupan ekezetek nelkul olvashato.)

 

Hála

Azt fedeztem fel, hogy ujabban a joga gyakorlas vegen, mikor gondolatban vegiglatogatom az osszes testreszem, nem csak ellazitom oket, de egyfajta parbeszedben talalom magam veluk: koszonetet mondva nekik hogy vannak ugy, ahogy. Elkezdtem felfedezni es halas lenni azert, amim van, es megerteni azt, mennyire konyortelen voltam magammmal hosszu eveken keresztul. Tulajdonkeppen en voltam onmagam legadazabb ellensege: kritizaltam, hasonlitottam magam midenhez es mindenkihez aminek a vegen mindig ott volt a kovetkeztetes, meg tobbet es tobbet kell tennem, hogy kierdemeljem masok figyelmet, szeretetet. Ez az ‘onelnemfogadas’ olyan termeszetesen letezett bennem, olyan melyen gyokerezett, hogy eszre se vettem, mit csinalok magammal. Bele kellett neznem par tukorbe, hogy feltunjon.

…

Fekszem a foldon. Savasana pozban. Halott poz. Emlekezteto, merre tartunk mindannyian, barhol allomasozunk is most az eletben. Nincs bennem akaras. Csak letezem. Hallgatom a lelegzetem. Vegiglatogatom testem zugait. Elo, letezo, lukteto testem.

…

Es ahelyett, hogy el akarnam rejteni, vagy meg akarnam valtoztatni a szinet, halat erzek hogy dus, hosszu, egeszseges hajjal aldott meg az eg, ami apura emlekeztet.

A merete miatti elegedetlenseg helyett halas vagyok az orromnak, hogy mukodik, s hogy van valamim, ami mindig emlekzetet anyura, barhanyszor a tukorbe nezek.

Ahelyett hogy kisimittatnam, vagy leradiroztatnam arcomrol a rancokat, foltokat, helyreigazittatnam annak asszimmetriajat, orulok hogy leteznek nekem, elmult 44 even minden edes es bus pillanatanak hirmondoikent.

Meghajtom fejem es megkoszonom a torkomban volt gombocoknak, hogy tanitottak ‘igen’-t mondani, amikor annak volt ideje, es ‘nem’-et, mikor annak.

Meghajtom fejem es megkoszonom a fajdalmat a vallamban, mi mindig ott volt, ha figyelmeztetni kellett, ujra tobb sulyt, felelosseget vettem rajuk.

Meghajtom fejem es megkoszonom a lapockaim kozti bedermedt erzest, mi emlekzetet, a mosoly az arcomon neha meg nem kepes a szivem legmelyerol erkezni.

Meghajtom fejem es megkoszonom a fajdalmat a derekamban, hogy utiranyt mutat es lassitasra invital ha annak van ideje.

Meghajtom fejem es megkoszonom a terdeimnek, hogy neha megallasra kenyszeritettek, idot engedve atgondolni, merre legyen a kovetkezo lepes.

…

Fekszem a foldon. Hagyva a pillanatot alakulni, ahogy alakul. Hagyva magam letezni a pillanatban, ahogy letezem.

…

Fekszem a foldon savasana pozban. A VEGE poz. Minden vegben ott az uj kezdet apro magja. Megadom magam az ujnak, amitol a kovetkezo pillanat terhes, a megertesnek, hogy “talan nincs is itt hiba […]. Hogy talan a tortenet, amit az elme krealt az eletet illetoen, ennyi csupan: egy tortenet. Hogy a valosag pusztan annyi, hogy letezem a magam teljessegeben, minden tortenetet megelozoen.” Hagyom magam tanulni a lecket, “igazibbnak es igazibbnak lenni, emberebbnek, kevesbe tokeletesnek. Hagyom magam erezni a bennem zakatolo eletet. Hagyom magam erezni. Hagyom erezni. Hagyom… erezni. […] Hagyom neha nem tudni, mi a kovetkez lepes. […] Felfedezni, ki is vagyok valojaban. Hagyni magam napra nap ujra talalkozni az eppen valodi enemmel. […] Ugy banni magammal, mint a legvarazslatosabb, legszeretnivalobb lennyel.” (Jeff Foster – The joy of true mediation, New Sarum Press, 2019)
…
Savasana. Nincs mas bennem csak hala, beke, es vegtelen hely a csirazo jovonek.

Back to basics – Ujjayi pranayama

Back to basics, Yoga, Yoga video, , , ,

Ujjayi pranayamaFor step by step instructions of Ujjayi pranayama visit my YOUTUBE channel.

 

Ujjayi Pranayama

 

I remember when I started to attend in yoga classes, the teacher always said: “BREATH. Loooong inhale, loooong exhale.” I was a good girl – I had loooong inhale and exhale. The result: I felt always dizzy. I thought the fault is in me so did not ask is it right or wrong how I feel. I suffered silently.

Later I learned yoga is not equal postures/asanas only but all sorts of breathing techniques are part of the whole picture. When I was introduced to a breathing technique (pranayama) called UJJAYI or OCEAN or VICTORIOUS breath, that changed everything for me. The instruction: “Take a loooong breath” started to make sense. And I felt never dizzy any more. I LOVE/D this technique, the effect of it so much I started to incorporate it into my everyday life. I became an ujjayi breather. :o)

Short breath creates anxiety. Anxiety shortens the breath. If your “factory setting” is like mine: tend to be anxious, Ujjayi helps to break this vicious cycle.

How it works?

(You can watch the video on YOUTUBE where I do explain the technique.)

We all were drinking from a glass or through a straw. In the first case the liquid goes fast into your mouth. In the second case you can drink for longer time as on a smaller hole in the same time less liquid able to goes through. This is the basic idea behind Ujjayi. Have a bit smaller gap in your throat as you are breathing in and out.  Slower, longer breath create peace, softness in body and mind.

10 benefits of Ujjayi pranayama

  1. as it relaxes the stress, the tension in the body, it helps to get less prone to injuries
  2. as the breath gets longer, the lung expands further which increases circulation
  3. increased circulation helps to release more toxins
  4. more released toxins increase immune system
  5. the increased circulation makes the breath mildly heating
  6. it creates sense of calm and relaxation in the mind and body
  7. helps to sleep better
  8. helps to overcome fatigue, stress, and negativity
  9. as it is calming the nervous system almost immediately use it when you’re feeling agitated, anxious, or nervous
  10. mental clarity and focus increases

DURING YOUR YOGA PRACTICE – maintaining the Ujjayi breath throughout your practice allows the flow between the yoga poses being more effortless. As stability is enhanced, it is possible to hold postures for longer periods of time. You will be able to remain more centered, grounded and embodied.

Use this breath to understand when you need to surrender. The breath should be always smooth and even. If you lost these qualities, time to step back, to rest, to release. Be honest with yourself. It is your practice. It is your life.

 

(A magyar valtozat meg mindig csupan ekezetek nelkul olvashato.)

 

Ujjayi legzes

Az elso joga oraimbol arra emlekszem, hogy a tanar folyton ismetelgeti: “LELEGEZZ! Hoooosszu belegzes, hoooosszu kilegzes!” Nem lazadoztam sokat. Lelegeztem becsuletesen es vegigszedultem az orakat. Gondoltam, valami bennem biztos mashogy van beallitva. Eszembe se jutott rakerdezni, normalis-e az, amit tapasztalok. Szorgosan szedelegtem.

Kesobb, mikor mar ertettem, hogy a joga nem csupan pozok egymasutanjat jelenti, hanem kulonbozo legzestechnikak (pranayama) is szinesitik a kepet, es megtanultam az Ujjayi (vagy ocean) legzest, ez mindent megvaltoztatott.

Az instrukcionak, hogy “Vegyel egy meeeeeeeely, hosszuuuuu lelegzetet”, vegre lett ertelme, vegre nem ugy forditottam magamban, hogy na ujabb szedelgos percek kovetkeznek. Annyira megszerettem a technikat, annak hatasat, hogy beemeltem a midennapi eletembe. Amolyan ‘ujjayi junkie’ lettem. :o)

A rovid lelegzetvetel aggodalmaskodasra tesz hajlamossa. Aki szorong, annak tobbnyire rovid a lelegzete. Ha a “gyari alapbeallitas”-od kedves olvaso az enyemhez hasonloan ez iranyba tendal, van egy jo hirem: az ujjajyi legzestechnika segit kiszallni az ordogi korbol.

Hogy is mukodik?

(E YOUTUBE videoban lepesrol lepesre vezetlek vegig a technikan – egyelore csak angolul.)

Talan neked is megvan az elmeny, milyen poharbol, illetve szivoszalon at inni valamit. Az elso esetben a folyadek gyorsabban jut be a szajba, gyorsabban nyeljuk le. A masodik esetben hosszabb ideig tart meginni ugyanazt a folyadekmennyiseget, mivel a szivoszal kisebb nyilasan tobb ido atjutni. Ez az Ujjayi technika logikaja. A belelegzett levegonek egy beszukitett legresen kell athaladnia, ami lelassitja a levego tudobe valo eljutasat, ezzel hosszabb legzest eredmenyezve. A hosszabb, lassabb legzes hozadeka egy bekesebb, ellazultabb test es elme.

Az Ujjayi legzes 10 pozitiv hatasa

  1. mivel segit oldani a stresszt es a feszultseget, a test kevesbe lesz hajlamos serulesekre
  2. ahogy a legzes hossza no, a tudo aktivabb mukodese serkenti a keringest
  3. a gyorsabb keringes segiti a mereganyagok gyorsabb tavozasat a testbol
  4. a kevesebb mereganyag jelenlete erosebb immunrendszert eredmenyez
  5. a gyorsabb keringes miatt e legzestechnika kozepesen melegito hatasu
  6. segit beket es nyugalmat talalni a testben es az elmeben
  7. segiti a kielegito alvast
  8. faradtsag, stressz, negativ gondolatok eseten kituno segitseg
  9. mivel szinte azonal erezheto az idegrendszerre gyakorolt nyugtato hatasa, hasznald ha zaklatottnak, szorongonak vagy idegesnek erzed magad
  10. segit tisztan latni es koncentralni

JOGA GYAKORLASA KOZBEN – a joga pozok gyakorlasa kozben fenntartott Ujjayi legzes segiti, hogy a gyakorlas konnyedebb, aramlobb legyen.  Mivel mentalisan stabilabbnak erzi magat a gyakorlo, kevesbe tunik megterhelonek a hosszabban kitartott pozokban maradni.

A legzestechnika legfontoabb tanitasa: ha a lelegzet nem hosszu es nyugodt tobbe, az annyit jelent, faradt a tested, az elmed, ideje pihenni, pozt valtani. Ne feledd, magadnak gyakorolsz, nem masnak. A te eleted magadnak eled, nem masnak. Legy oszinte magadhoz. Tudd mikor kell szunetet tartani, megpihenni.

 

Know your own strength

Travel, Yoga, Yoga video, ,

For the strengthening yoga flow click here: YOUTUBE STRENGTHENING YOGA FLOW

 

Know your own strength

 

Back in time when I tried to convince a friend to practice yoga with me in a beautiful studio she said, she does not want to join me as she feels intimidated. Her view was: in yoga studios everyone has amazing body, stunning yoga clothes, everyone is self confident, levitating at least 5 cm above the floor, talks about green smoothies or the latest yoga retreat they attended.

I admit there was time when I felt the same. It is very easy to look around, compare ourselves with others and realise: there is ALWAYS someone more beautiful, taller, shorter, smaller, bigger, younger, older, richer, poorer… than me.

Not in yoga studios only by the way.

…

Do you want to live a desperate life? I can give you the best recipe: ALWAYS compare yourself, keep your focus on what you do not have. It “helps” you to feel you are the faultiest, weakest, less appealing human being on this planet.

…

Teaching yoga, working with people changed my life in many senses. I started realising there is ALWAYS a reason people attending in yoga classes. At the beginning – as said – is mostly the physical element – we have pains here or there. But slowly we are shifting from the physical to another level. Slowly most of us realises our body is just a vehicle, a mirror. It shows us what is inside.

We are all here to learn something. We have this body, this life as a tool to be able to learn our lessons. There is NOONE without things to learn. Which means we all – all living creatures – has struggles. We are all searching for solutions, balance, less pain. Some of us in a yoga studio. Even the most fancy looking ones, the ones with the most self-confident vibe.

I was teaching the wealthiest area of London. Beautifully carved noses, boobs, faces all around. But the energy in the room was heavy. Sadness, self doubt, exhausted spirits and hearts have been hiding behind these beautifully painted masks. That was the moment I started to feel more compassion towards people. Mainly towards the ones challenged me in any way. My experience is: the meanest ones had the biggest pain within.

How many times I heard praising nature: “What a beautiful flower! What a mesmerising hill! What an amazing tree!” Yes, creatures of nature are wonderful things. But do not forget we are all creations of nature as well. As a leaf, a flower, a bird is perfect, you are perfect.  It is sort of funny to think when mother nature created US, it made a mistake. Don’t let your own power get depleted because of your fears, comparison, limiting beliefs. ALWAYS remember: you have your inner strength. YOU ARE STRONG. YOU ARE PERFECT. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Just as a flower, a leaf. Just as you are.

 

(Elore is elnezest, a magyar valtozat meg mindig csupan ekezetek nelkul olvashato.)

 

Erosebb vagy, mint gondolod!

 

Felvetettem egyszer egy ismerosomnek, jojjon el velem joga orara az egyik legszebb, legkonfortosabb joga studioba. Nem jott, mert mint mondta, ezeken a helyeken teljesen ufonak erzi magat – mert ott mindenkinek gazella teste van, a legmenobb joganacikban feszitenek, magabiztosan vonulnak vegig a studion, mit vonulnak?!, 5 centivel a fold folott lebegve kozlekednek zold smoothie-rol es a legutobbi varazslatos joga retreatrol tarsalogva.

Bevallom, volt ido, mikor engem is zavarba ejtett ha joga studio kozelebe keveredtem. Mert ha korbeneztem MINDIG volt/van szebb, jobb, okosabb, magasabb, alacsonyabb, fiatalabb, oregebb… mint en.

Jegyzem meg, nem csak a joga studiokban.

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Akarod tudni egy elkeseredett elet receptjet? Egyszeru: MINDIG nezz korul es hasonlitsd magad masokhoz. Koncentralj szigoruan arra, amid nincs. Garantaltan az univerzum legertektelenebb, legtokeletlenebb, legvacakabb letezojenek fogod erezni magad!

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A jogatanarsag korulbelul fenekestul forgatta fel az eletem. Peldaul rajottem, hogy MINDIG van oka, ha valaki jogazni kezd. Igen, eleinte foleg a fizikalis nyugok – itt faj, ott faj. Aztan valami valtozni kezd, es a fizikalis sikrol eszrevetlen attranszportalodunk egy masik szinterre. Hol azt latjuk, a test csak egy eszkoz, egy tukor. Ami arrol arulkodik, arrol mesel, ami bent van.

Hiszem, hogy mind tanulni erkeztunk ebbe az eletbe. A testunk, az eletunk ezen tanulnivalok elsajatitasanak eszkoze, terepe csupan. NINCS EMBER, akinek ne lenne tanulnivaloja. Ami azt is jelenti, mindannyian kuzdunk mindenfele kevesbe kedves demonokkal. Mind megoldasokat keresunk, egyensulyt, kevesebb kinlodast, kuzdelmet. A legmagabiztosabbnak, a leg ’en vagyok a vilag ura’-nak tunok is.

Volt, hogy London egyik legtehetosebb negyedeben tartottam orakat. Magazinba illo orrok, mellek, arcok amerre a szem ellatott. De valami nehez, szomoru energia lengte be a termet. Onmaguk ertekeben ketkedo, faradt lelkek es szivek rejtoztek a tokeletesen konstrualt alarcok mogott. Ez a tapasztalat segitett abban, hogy osszehasonlitas es itelkezes helyett reszvettel tudjak fordulni masok fele. Kulonos tekintettel a nehezebb esetekre. Sokszor a legelviselhetetlenebb embereknek faj leginkabb valami ott bent.

Millioszor hallom, hogy “O, ez a virag milyen gyonyoru! Ez a hegyseg lenyugozo! Ez a fa maga a tokely!” Es valoban, a termeszet teremtmenyei tokeletesek. De ne feledjuk, MI MIND a termeszet reszei vagyunk. Es ahogy egy level, egy virag, egy madar tokeletes, mi emberek is tokeletesek vagyunk. Te is kedves olvaso. Ugy ahogy vagy. Ha jobban meggondolom, tulajdonkeppen van valami vicces abban, mikor azt gondoljuk, a termeszet pont a mi megalkotasunkkor tevedett. A felelem, az osszehasonlitas, a korlatozo hiedelmek rossz szellemkent kuporogva utaznak vallainkon, elgyengitve, elhomalyositva azt a vegtelen erot, ami eredendoen ott van mindannyiunkban.

Allj meg neha (ha kihivasra vagysz, menj el egy joga orara egy zavarba ejto joga studioba) es halld meg a hangot, ami ott bent folyton sugja, emlekeztetve: EROS VAGY. TOKELETES. ELEG. Epp mint egy virag, egy level. Epp mint ahogy vagy.

Life-celebration – thoughts around a birthday party

Special occasion, Travel,

Life-celebration – thoughts around a birthday party

 

I am the queen of the daily routine. Super happy to celebrate others, but still tend to shy back if others want to celebrate me. For a long time I have seen the whole life as a special occasion, so did not understand what is the point of this celebration buzz? Yes, life is something special and sacred. I still agree with myself. BUT I learned it worth to make some moments more special, more memorable. That we have to stop sometimes, otherwise we wake up one morning realising – I do not have this mental/emotional oasis where I can get back on the bluer days to warming up my heart.

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We had a birthday celebration last week in Utopia Eco Hostel. Indy, the owners boy turned into three. Kids from all around the area were invited. I have to admit my first thought was – why the  fuss to create this big celebration for such a little boy? He won’t even remember.

As I grew up I inherited the knowledge to survive in any circumstances. To fight, to keep myself above the water no matter what. I am deeply grateful for all my ancestors I do carry awful lots of strength in my genes. But celebrating, stopping, creating special moments – I learned later.

From my grown-up years I clearly remember one particular birthday. After the university I was renting an attic-room from a very special family in Budapest. One day when I went home, all doors were open but the flat was empty, quiet. I was puzzled. …until the moment they jumped out from behind the sofa, singing, shouting me happy birthday. I almost ruined the celebration as I could not stop crying holding my first birthday cake in my hands.

That was the moment I vowed to myself I will make time to stop and celebrate. I will create memories. Because celebrations are vital to the human spirit. They affirm that life is more than just a day-to-day routine.

I was watching Indy. Though he is very young, he was behaving differently. He was like a king – I could feel his strength. No tantrum but quietly walking around, being present in every corner of the space. Yes, he might won’t remember the cake in 10-20 years time, but I’m convinced the feeling, the vibe of the afternoon will stay with him. He will remember that there was a day, when he felt loved, cared by many. And the feeling, the knowledge that he worth the love, the attention will get built into his bones.

So if you are like me, make the effort and set a party, a ceremony or a picnic in the park (or at least let others to do it for you) and invite everyone you think they care. Do not allow the voice of your fear: ‘WHAT IF no one turns up and it gets clear, no one loves me’ to stop you! Find the way you want to remember. Create pictures in your inner photo album. You do not need to follow the path of others. Just do something! Celebrate your life! Celebrate yourself! Because you worth it!

 

Eletunnep – gondolatok egy szuletesnap urugyen

 

Hetkoznapokban elso osztalyu vagyok. Masokat unnepelni is kitunoen tudok. A sajat magam unneplese… nos, az meg kicsit docogosen megy. Sokaig azt gondoltam, az elet onmagaban eleg kulonleges, minek a sok felhajtas? Es igen, az elet valoban egy csoda ugy ahogy van. DE azt is megtanultam, hogy kellenek unnepi pillanatok. Meg, hogy neha le kell lassulni, megpihenni, feldisziteni a lelkunket, maskulonben egy nap arra ebredunk, hogy visszatekintve csak egy szurke massza nyulik mogottunk, ami… hat igen, ez volt az elet. Es hianyoznak azok a kis oazisok, ahova vissza lehet vonulni a huvosebb napokon szivet melengetni.

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Mult heten dzsungel-szulinapi partin vehettem reszt. Indy, a tulajok kisfia harom eves lett. A kornyek osszes gyereke hivatalos volt. Bevallom, az elso korben felbukkano gondolatom az volt – minek ez a nagy felhajtas egy ilyen pici gyereknek? Ugyse fog emlekezni.

Felnovekedve megtanultam hogy kell tulelni, harcolni, viz szinen maradni barmifele korulmenyek kozott. Minden felmenomnek orokre halas leszek az eroert, amit a genjeim minden csucskeben hordozok. Unnepelni, megallni, kulonleges pillanatokat teremteni azonban masoktol tanultam.

Felnott eveimbol van egy meghatarozo szulinapi emlekem. Az egyetem utan padlasszobat beretlem egy kulonleges csaladnal. Egyik nap arra mentem haza, hogy minden ajto tarva-nyitva, am a lakas ures. Sehol senki. Nem ertettem… egeszen addig, mig elo nem ugraltak a butorok mogul a haziak, ‘boldog szuletesnapot’ enekelve. Majdnem jol tonkretettem az unneplest – csak potyogtak a konnyeim az elso sajat szuletesnapi tortamra.

Ez volt az a pillanat, amikor megfogadtam, tudatosan torekedni fogok arra, hogy legyenek emlekezetes pillanatok az eletemben. Mert az unnepek eltetik a lelket. Emlekeztetnek, hogy az elet tobb mint napi rutin.

Figyeltem Indyt. Aki bar nagyon fiatal, valahogy mashogy viselkedett. Olyan volt, mint egy kis kiraly – csendesebb, lehetett erezni a megfontolt erot. Semmi harom eves hiszti. Jart korbe-korbe, mintegy felugyelve kis birodalma minden szegletet. Igen, lehet hogy 10-20 ev mulva nem emlekszik majd a tortara. De meggyozodesem, hogy az erzes, a delutan hangulata orokre vele marad. Emlekezni fog, hogy volt egy nap, mikor sokan osszejottek miatta, neki, erte. Es az erzes, a tudat, hogy masok szeretetere, figyelmere erdemes, lenye megingathatatlan alapelmenye lesz.

Szo mi szo kedves olvaso, ha te is hozzam hasonloan a hetkoznapok koronazatlan hose vagy, szedd ossze minden batorsagod, es rendezz partit magadnak, ceremoniat, vagy egy pikniket a szabadban. (De legalabb hagyd, hogy masok megrendezzek neked!) Es hivj meg mindenkit, akinek szamitasz. Ne hagyd, hogy a ‘de MI VAN HA senki nem jon el, es kiderul, tulajdonkeppen senkinek nem vagyok fontos’ felelme megallitson. Talald ki, rendezd meg a sajat emlekeidet! Mindegy mit, csak csinalj valamit! Unnepeld az eleted! Unnepeld magad! Mert megerdemled!

So THANK YOU MY MIND! “So long, and thanks for all the fishes!”

Travel, Yoga, Yoga video, , , ,
Online yoga practice for warm up the whole body
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So THANK YOU MY MIND! “So long, and thanks for all the fishes!”

This is my first video since I am back to Guatemala. I left behind my 14 years long life in London.

Many people said I am brave to make a decision like this. I do not think I call bravery to follow a very intense call. You just do it because you can not do anything else. Because you feel if you do not follow this voice you are not true to yourself. You are not living YOUR OWN life.

What bravery is?

Still in London I woke up several times in the middle of the night and questioned myself “What on earth are you doing? It has no sense! You have a safe, comfortable life here. You worked very hard to have all you have now. You are insane!”. No assurance arrived from the darkness. My only company was my super fast heartbeat and the moon.

Later, already in the jungle, exactly the same happened. I opened my eyes for the morning, looked around from the top of my bunk bed – five strangers sleeping all around me in a wooden cabin – and had no clue ‘What the heck I am doing here?! I should be in Triyoga now and teach the class for all those amazing people – some of them even changed their shift just to be able to come to my classes.’

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In the morning I was sitting next to the river and was battling with my thoughts. And at one point I realized: I AM SITTING NEXT TO THAT RIVER I WANTED TO SIT WHEN I WAS IN LONDON. I AM HERE NOW. I AM LIVING MY DREAM! WHY DO I RUIN MY DREAM WITH ENDLESS WORRYING? That was the moment I realized: I was tricked! MY MIND created this whole story of regret, fear in my head. And in that moment I decided to step back and WATCH my mind. Just watched as it is debating with itself – but I was not involved any more.

And I have to admit – I have found it very entertaining. I started to smile. I was in my own theatre. I started to laugh and realised, felt the lightness of the fact: IT IS MY CHOICE to enjoy what is around me NOW or to destroy the beauty of THIS moment through my fears.

I was reading one of my (recently) favorite book (Jeff Foster: The joy of true meditation; New Sarum Press 2019) and I bumped into this sentence: “Thank you, mind, for your suggestions, your imagined futures, your fears. But I will not be your slave any longer.”
So THANK YOU MY MIND! “So long, and thanks for all the fishes!” (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)

(Elore is elnezest, a magyar valtozat egyelore ekezetek nelkul lesz elerheto.)

Szoval: KOSZONOM ELMEM!  Most kicsit “viszlat es koszi a halakat”

Ez az elso videom, miota visszajottem Guatemalaba, tizennegy evnyi londoni eletet hagyva magam mogott.

Sokan mondtak, micsoda batorsag ilyen dontest hozni! De vajon valoban batorsag az, mikor nem teszel mast, csak engedelmeskedsz egy ki tudja honnan erkezo, mindennel erosebb hivasnak? Amikor azert teszel valamit, mert nem tudsz mast tenni?! Mert erzed, ha nem koveted a hivast, nem a SAJAT ELETED eled.

Hogy mi a batorsag?!…

Meg Londonban, nem egy ejjel riadtam fel az ej kozepen a megkerulhetetlen kerdessel osszezarva: “Mi az eget csinalok tulajdonkeppen? Ennek semmi ertelme! Itt egy kenyelmes, biztonsagos elet. Rengeteget dolgoztam, hogy elerjek oda, ahol vagyok. Ez siman elmebetegseg!” Nem erkezett nyugtato haton lapogatas. Csak az ures sotet takart be, mig hallgattam zakatolo szivem, es neztem a hold kifejezestelenul bamulo arcat.

Kesobb, mar Guatemalaban sem volt jobb a helyzet. Elso reggel (meg a masodikon, harmadikon…) mikor a dzsungel kozepen egy osszetakolt faviskoban kinyitottam a szemem, ertetlenul pislogtam az emeletes agyam tetetjerol, hallgatva a korottem szuszogo idegenek egyenletes legzeset, hogy ‘Mi az atyaeget keresek en itt, ahelyett, hogy epp a Triyogaban tartanam az oraim azoknak az embereknek, akik meg arra is kepesek voltak, hogy beosztas cseret kerjenek a munkahelyen csak azert, hogy reszt vehessenek az oramon.’

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Egyik ilyen aggodalomtol zsufolt reggelen a folyo partjan ucsorogve az jutott eszembe, hogy MOST EPPEN ANNAK A FOLYONAK A PARTJAN ULOK, AHOL AKKOR AKARTAM ULNI, AMIKOR LONDONBAN VOLTAM. HOGY ITT VAGYOK. EPP AZ ALMOMAT ELEM. MIERT IS ZUZOM PORRA AZT VEGTELEN AGGODALMASKODASSAL?! Ez volt az a pillanat, amikor vilagosan lattam: jol at vagyok verve! A SAJAT AGYAM altal, mert o gyartotta ezt az egesz megbanos, felos tortenetet. Es abban a pillanatban ugy hataroztam, ok, lassuk a medvet!, es picit visszalepve elkezdtem FIGYELNI  sajat gondolataimat. Csak figyeltem a szaguldo gondolatokat, mintha fout mellett a forgalmat, de nem ultem be egy autoba se.

Es be kell vallanom, tulajdonkeppen jol elszorakoztattam magam. Arra lettem figyelmes, hogy mosolygok. A sajat szinhazam neztem. Mikor a teny konnyedseget megereztem, hogy AZ EN VALASZTASOM hogy elvezem ami ITT ES MOST van, vagy a felelmeimre gorcsolve tonkre teszem azt, egyszercsak elkezdtem nevetni.

A (jelenleg) egyik kedvenc konyvemben (Jeff Foster: The joy of true meditation; New Sarum Press 2019) botlottam ma a kovetkezo gondolatba: “Koszonom elmem a jovomre vonatkozo javaslataid, felelmeid. De nem leszek a rabszolgad tobbe.”

Szoval: KOSZONOM ELMEM!  Most kicsit “viszlat es koszi a halakat” (Galaxis utikalauz stopposoknak)